A Modern Woman's Take on Swift's A Lady's Dressing Room

The view on women based on Jonathon Swift’s The Lady’s Dressing Room and a reaction for a modern woman: Me:

                Jonathon Swift proves how disgusting a woman’s dressing room can be even though she is basically raisen from dung and turns into a beautiful flower. I can see how one might see women as gross when they delve too far into the grooming time. I could see a man taking my makeup brush that has never been washed because I like how fluffy it is (although, I just got a new one). I could see him or anyone thinking that excrement is gross; it is. So don’t go sticking your hand into an unflushed toilet Strephan! Also, I could see anyone thinking dirty laundry is disgusting and smells bad. Well, back when Jonathon Swift was writing, some clothes weren’t washed or there were so many layers, one sweated through them all. I know I’m not crazy about smelling my dirty laundry after I take it off and throw it into the bin to be washed. As for the makeup…Puppy insides, bird poo, and puppy water…yuck. I’m glad makeup standards have changed and most of my makeup is all natural or completely vegan. It’s just powder now so don’t spring a leak. I get that the makeup back when Strephan was disrupting the force in a woman’s private space. Just let me make clear, if you think it’ll be yucky, don’t touch it, look at it, sniff it, or feel it. Basically, keep in mind that women come out looking and smelling like a tulip.

                Men, I won’t intrude on your Axe body spray, hair-clogged razor, and never cleaned with the seat up toilet, if you keep your paws off and out of my closet and makeup bag. Because you come out smelling like a wanna be Jersey Shore Guido with too much jel and a condom stuck to the bottom of your foot…nowadays. When Strephan was pawing through Celia’s stuff, he didn’t know that she could be pawing through his. Hmmm…didn’t men wear makeup too back then? Did you, Strephan, turn poor Tripsy’s brother Tipsy into makeup or shaving cream. Did you forget to flush the toilet once and a while and most off all, you wore high heels…leave it to the women, pal.

                Moral of the story, Jonathon Swift, stay out of Lady’s Dressing Rooms; Strephon, don’t go through Celia’s stuff—and yes, she shits!—and Celia, if you ever go through Strephon’s things, write a poem about it for pay back and tell it to all your friends then laugh about it but never let him find out. As for the modern day people, No snooping in your significant other’s closet or makeup and please, if you do, don’t write a poem about it. Everybody shits.